I’ve been battling a bit of hopelessness lately. I remember hearing my pastor here in KC say that if hopelessness is on the rise in your heart, then somewhere your view of God and His character are out of alignment.
You can say that again.
Most of the hopelessness has come at the hands of hearing about the prophesied coming “fall” of America and life as I know it. Hearing His direction for school, Journalism, marriage and the future He has in store for me, then weighing it against what is being said just doesn’t add up in my brain. To be honest, it’s brought confusion and a bit of anger. I had to deal with the old man trying to rise up again, saying that He is not good and that He has dangled this beautiful picture of an adventurous life in front of my face, only to ask me to “hold that dream lightly” because it may not happen.
My friend Heather invited me to an IHOP conference called The Stand, which is a gathering of the African American Forerunner Alliance. In the midst of worship with Cory Asbury yesterday, God caused a swelling of hope to rise up in me. This came after hearing word after word of what the leaders of IHOP are sensing is to come out of the black church in America in the coming days … leadership, service, strength, family, community, nightwatch prayer, even them taking the prayer movement into the next phase and eclipsing what others have done … things I’ve never heard before in relation to black people in America.
I'll be honest and admit that I don't identify with African Americans for the most part, so I wasn't overly excited about going to this conference. I was brought up in a West Indian home and was reminded often while growing up in American schools that I was different. I don't carry the scars of slavery or racism in my veins. My family had little angst in forging relationships with white people ... I actually heard more about staying away from Indians in my youth. And, I was never told that I couldn't be or do something simply because of the color of my skin.
I love that God can use anything - any situation, any person, any thing - to meet with us.
This weekend's conference provided a perspective shift for me that was much needed. Gotta love when God does that for you when you didn’t even think to ask, because all I did was show up and welcome Him in.
