Memphis

I just got back from visiting Memphis, where one of my college dorm mates got married. Three dorm-mates from the same floor got married in one year. Gotta love it.

I have to admit that I’d forgotten how GHETTO Memphis is. I think I’ve lived in suburbia too much lately, because it was definitely a culture shock to be there again. I also forgot how bad drivers there can be. I’d forgotten what an overload of Southern cooking and barbeque do to my system. And, I’d forgotten how precious the relationships that God blessed me with during my college years were.

I got to hang out with only a handful of the crew I hung out with in college. Most of them have married and moved to other parts of the U.S. and the world. Some of them I didn’t maintain as strong of a bond with, so I didn’t feel compelled to call them up to hang out. The five that I spent the most time with reminded me of what I was like back then and showed me just how much I’ve grown. They also helped bring humorous clarity to some of the craziness we did as 18-21 year olds. They also challenged me with how I live my life today.

Most of my friends from Memphis have Masters degrees in various fields and are happy with their vocational choices. They’re involved in their churches. They have solid relationships with their loved ones. They have a relationship with God and desire Him to move in their lives.

The one thing that challenged me as I spent time with them was just how content they seemed with where their lives were. Most have been through tough things over the last thirteen years. They all had things that they were believing God for. In talking with them, I realized that I am nowhere near as content as they seem. I still feel like I’m reaching for some unknown thing, wrestling with my inner self, stretching forward to some ideal that’s just out of my reach.

I find myself wondering if I had a career that I loved, were married and “on track” with the family plan, were settled into great relationships with my family, and had a solid group of friends around me … would this emptiness be filled? Somehow I doubt it. I’m beginning to think that it’s how He created me. For some reason, there will always be something that’s not quite right.

I feel like God reminded me that He’s still in control regarding my life. There is no plan B. He’s leading and He has good and perfect plans for me. This current step/situation isn’t any different from Africa or YWAM Denver or D.C. or Memphis. It all fits together to weave the tapestry of my life. The people I’ve met are significant. No matter how random it may seem to me, it’s not random to Him. He is pouring into me what is needed for the next adventure. That adventure may just be further out than I anticipated. My goal continues to be - embrace every opportunity to learn and grow in love that He places before you.