Personality

I've always had this secret fascination with personality theories. In college, I would profile my friends according to whether or not they were choleric, melancholy, phlegmatic or sanguine. It's pretty easy for me to spot those. Then I moved on to Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram, and just about anything else I could find.

With the Myers-Briggs I was never really satisfied with the results I got. There were always big, glaring inconsistencies with my character and what I believed my personality to be. To some degree it had to do with what God was doing in my life when I took the test ... for instance, while living in South Africa I would score really high on the "judging" scale. Sometimes it was based on the person I was trying to become rather than the person I was when I took the test.

A few days ago, while praying, God dropped into my spirit what my personality type was under the Myers-Briggs system and confirmed that in the Enneagram, I am definitely a One. Since then, I've done research on the internet and gone to the library and copied some Psych textbooks on the subject.

It's so interesting to me to read this and catch glimpses of myself in black ink on white paper. There are so many things that I didn't realize could be explained simply because that is the way God created me to be - the desire to know and understand my true identity, my disinterest in shallow relationships, why people say I could be a diplomat/peacemaker, the high value I place on self-sacrifice and selflessness ... the list goes on and on.

And yet, there are things that God's placed in me that are unique and don't fit the mold. I don't fit in the neat little boxes Psychologists have come up with the try and explain who I am and why I do what I do. While I desire to know myself and walk in the fullness of who God created me to be, I know that the source of that information and freedom can only come from one place - God Himself.

Changes

Ahhhh ... so much going on since the move.

I don't even remember if I've written about God showing me what to study and where. Well, Journalism is the "what" and the University of Missouri is the "where". Not sure about which grad program I'm going for (there are three that have caught my attention, all in the midwest). We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Basically, I'm going for another undergrad degree to build a better foundation for grad school. The idea of tackling grad courses in a field that is completely foreign to me brought on way too much anxiety and stress ... well, that and the thought of taking the GRE in two weeks to try and meet application deadlines. :o)

I've been told that I will need to take an additional 36 hours to get a B.A. That's only three semesters, if I can time it right and not get tangled in pre-requisites. Not bad!

So, now we just need to get in (no doubts there) and hope that God provides the money to pay for it (some doubts there). I know He's done it before, I'm just looking at it from the human perspective of I've-missed-every-scholarship-deadline-and-there's-no-money. We'll see how God moves.

Plans

I am constantly amazed at how there is nothing random about God. From the people that I come across on this journey called life, to the directions He gives … there is nothing that isn’t premeditated on His part.

I really feel that He’s calling me to study Journalism. I was looking for a program that’s pretty internationally focused, has an option to study abroad, and is nationally recognized. He brought me to Kansas City, MO knowing the big picture … the University of Missouri (Columbia) has one of the top-ranked Journalism grad programs in the U.S.

Before I left South Africa, I had a feeling I’d be doing something with campus ministry again … and now He’s sending me back to school. This morning in the prayer room, there were prayers being offered up for two full hours for campuses and campus ministry. I met a guy from Colorado who asked me if I was in university here, and prayed that I would be shown where to cultivate relationship on whichever campus I ended up.

Let me say it again: there is nothing random with our God. He opens doors no man can shut, and closes doors no man can open.

Amazing.

K.C., MO

I was just thinking back, wondering when my last update was ... I'm pretty sure it was a while ago.

I've made the move to Kansas City, am living near IHOP and looking forward to time away with the Lord. I was only a few hours into my journey when He had me bawling like a little baby, overwhelmed by His love and provision for me. I truly am blessed.

I spent most of today getting my living space in order. I was blessed with a queen sized bed, nightstand and huge dresser. I've got a large closet that holds more clothes than I currently own (so half of it is empty). I need a job to pay my future bills, but God knows that ... I'm setting aside time to meet with Him in the prayer room tomorrow to seek Him out and gain some strategy for the things He's spoken to my heart.

I live in a house with amazing women, sense Him at work in our midst, love the location I'm in and am looking forward to exploring the city I call home for however long He lets me stay.

Life is good. :o)