Thanks, Luke ...

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been so convicted when I go to church lately. I think that Pastor Brett’s teachings on “Expand” have been reaching into my chest and shining light on some of my dirty little secrets. Seems to me that God’s calling His church to walk closer with Him, to let go of the junk that holds us back and allow Him to truly reign in our hearts.

This week it was all about Luke 6 and love. He spoke being generous with our possessions (since it all belongs to God anyway), showing mercy when it’s undeserved and forgiving when it’s not easy. The bit about showing mercy when it’s undeserved really caused a bit of a hiccup in my heart. In the midst of his teaching, God made clear to me a bit of direction that I’ve been stuffing … I thought it surely couldn’t be Him because it didn’t make sense.

You see, back at IHOP a few weeks ago He really highlighted a passion to work with women (especially) and children caught in human trafficking. I’ve always had a passion for seeing women walk in wholeness, so it didn’t surprise me too much. I’ve gotten words that talked about my walking with people through really difficult circumstances. I knew that God hadn’t poured all He’s placed in me for no reason. Working with victims of an industry that feeds off of sin – greed, perversion, immorality – and circumstance – poverty, illness, control. I get it.

But, there’s also something in the back of my mind that says if there was no demand for child prostitutes, slave labor and brothels … the problem wouldn’t be as large as it is. If you could deal with the issue at the source, how would that affect the lives of women and children that are victimized by human trafficking. Surely God wouldn’t ask me to work with the perpetrators of the whole industry?

Then I remembered – when has God ever asked me to do anything easy.

So, Pastor Brett’s teaching this morning was a reminder. Have mercy. I don’t know about you, but my gut reaction to thinking about sitting across a table from a guy who has sold hundred of little girls to brothels isn’t to “have mercy” and try to turn him back to a relationship with God. I want to taser him until he has a heart attack.

This is where God’s dealing with me. What makes his sin any different from my own? Jesus said that if I look at someone and covet them in my heart, it’s the same as committing adultery (sorry Mrs. Damon). It breaks the heart of God just the same … even more, since he may not know better. His disconnectedness from the love of the Father drives him to bring pain to countless others. If I can play a part in God’s capturing that guy’s heart … talk about a changed life. How about a changed neighborhood? A changed city? A changed nation?

Or how about the guy that flies overseas to solicit young girls in Asia? Or the women who fly to African countries to pick up boy toys? Or the guys who hire women off the streets in Vegas? Where does mercy stop for them?

I remember this quote I read in a book talking about the greatness of pain and suffering in South Africa called Hope in the Dark:

As I dragged my feet along the gravel with my head down, I found myself asking, “Why, God?” He told me “Broken world, Daughter. Sin is real … know and repent of your own, and then seek justice and love for My children. Do not lose hope, my child. Be an agent of mercy.”

Guess I knew what He called me to even back then. I just didn’t realize that it extended not only to victims, but to those who are inflicting pain as well.

God help me. No wonder I need to come away with You for a season. I can’t make this shift on my own, mostly because my definition of justice and Yours are two completely different things.

Losing my mind

I left my laptop at my friend's house in PA. After that, I can't tell you the number of things I've misplaced or forgotten. Seriously, it feels like I'm losing my mind.

Outside of that, things are going well. I'm still learning about the love of my Father and His Son who pretty much paid my ransom in order to be in relationship with me. I am officially moving to Kansas City, MO for a season. Craziness, but I love it. I'm narrowing down a field of study for my Masters, which is kind of exciting. And, God's stirring up some new passions for me ... all in all, life is good.

Regarding KC, I'm moving in with some friends who are a group of young women that I got on really well with during my last visit to KC. My hope is that I find work right away so that I can afford to live there and eat. I want to take advantage of being near the prayer room so that I can "come away with" Jesus, as He's asked me to do. Anything else He does during this next season is icing on the cake at this point.

So, it looks like during the first week of June I'll pack up my stuff once again and drive the 16 hours over to Kansas City. Hopefully I'll be allowed to park there awhile!