I know it's March. And I know it's been five months since my last post. I've had a lot to say ... just didn't feel too great about sending my more vulnerable moments into cyberspace.
But, I'm back now. I'm no longer in Texas with my family. I'm not sure that I'll ever get to grad school. I'm not even able to clearly identify what type of job I'm looking for. I'm waiting on God to open a door that I could not, to a job that I will look at and say that I'm not qualified to do but is a place that will make the last seven years make sense, that will cause my family to sit back and wonder at the way God works.
Sound scary and random to you? Yeah, to me too.
So. Where am I? I'm living in Virginia with some awesome friends who have allowed me to live in their basement until I figure out what God's up to. What am I doing? Focusing on the last thing He said to me: "Build relationship ... be intentional. Wait on Me." What does that look like on a daily basis? Ha. That's the fun (and sometimes slightly frustrating) part. :o)
Each day is different. Some days I stay at home, catching up on reading. (Most recent projects have been a comparative writing on Judaism/Christianity, another on American history, The Color Purple and a few Christian fiction novels to lighten the load.) Some days I have been able to schedule lunch, dinner or coffee with someone I met through YWAM, South Africa, a friend of a friend, etc. I'm at church two days a week - Sunday morning and Wednesday evening. I got involved in a job club that meets once a week that has been helping me figure out how the job market works in this strange place. Some days I go to the park and just read, walk and pray. Most days I spend a bit of time hanging out with the family upstairs whose kids (age 7, 4 and 2) who call me their neighbor friend downstairs.
Am I doing it right? I have no idea. I know that last week was a pretty epic battle of surrendering my will to His (complete with a bit of drama, silence, tears, pep talks, screams of frustration, praying and glimmers of hope). I'm doing much better this week. Surrender has come, and I can honestly say I trust Him. If I'm still living in my friends' basement without employment come July 31st, with no money in the bank and a quarter tank of gas ... I still trust Him. He's up to something, and I don't think it's going to look anything like I expect it to look.
I think I can safely say I'm well into the next adventure with God!
2 comments:
Roxann,
God has given me the following verses as I too am in a Wait, Trust and Hope situation. "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."" Psalm 27:14; "Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for His own ends." Proverbs 16:3-4; "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. I will be found by you and bring you back from captivity." Jeremiah 29:11-14. Waiting is hard, but it builds character and gives God the time He needs to move.
I agree, Darleen. It's not easy, and I tend to wrestle with Him in the process. Can't help it ... He made me a fighter! I sometimes think it's my process to blessing.
Thanks for the verses! They serve as a great reminder of our faithful Father. :o)
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