Struggling

So, I've been battling with God for a few days now.

No one knows the details of it ...

Just that He's asked me to do something I really don't want to do.

It grates against every fiber of my being.

It makes no sense.

I don't want to do it.

I don't know how to do it.

I don't understand why He wants me to do it.

All I know is that I'm stuck on the part of Proverbs 3:5 that says "Lean not on your own understanding".

It makes my chest hurt.

I get this sinking feeling in my stomach.

And I'm stuck.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart ..."

I'm apparently not doing much better with that portion either.

New Year

I can't believe it's already February. My birthday's coming up and I have to admit that celebrating another year on this planet definitely has its ups and downs. The down would be that I'm far away from home and family ... the up is that I get to plan a fabulous day with friends, celebrating the goodness of God. Who said getting a year older is a bad thing? :o) Maybe I should start celebrating getting a month older ... okay, okay ... that might be a bit excessive.