So, apparently November 24th is the day to fly. I arrived at the airport early to check in and while standing in line, looked back and said to a black girl behind me that it was good to hear another American accent. We laughed and she asked me how long I’d been in South Africa. I said “Two years.”
When she introduced herself to me, I smiled and when she asked my name, I said, “Roxanne.”
“Roxanne what?”
“Foster. Why? You’re Nicole … ?”
Big smile crosses her face. “Boone.”
Yeah, I screamed in the airport.
This is a girl that I started emailing around the middle of last year at the insistence of a friend in Houston who heard her speak at their church. We’d talked about my coming to visit her in Plettenberg Bay, but life had gotten hectic and I’d forgotten to make it a priority. Apparently, God was still up to something there!
So, for the next hour we chatted and laughed about life in South Africa, about our struggles with the men and the results of the recent elections. It was so good to laugh with someone who can identify with the craziness you experience as a black American living in South Africa.
If that wasn’t enough, when I landed in Atlanta I was standing around baggage claim and saw a girl that looked really familiar to me as well. It turns out that she’s a YWAMer that’s working with 10,000 Homes in Mpumalanga whose DTS I staffed in Denver. I’m constantly amazed at how big this workd is, yet how intimate and inter-connected the body of Christ is.
Apparently God wanted to encourage me with the fact that the relationships I make in this life are lifelong. I’ve been sad about the fact that quite a few of my friends will have moved on from living and working in South Africa/Joburg when I get back. Being in YWAM, you get used to saying goodbye to people, but it just seemed (once again) that just when I’d seemed to find some balance between work and friendships, things will once again be unbalanced when I return.
So, this holiday will be a great time for me to refocus and enjoy the stability of relationships in my life. I’m excited about spending time with my family and friends, as well as praying through some of the things going on in my head and heart in regards to returning to Joburg to become a full-time mom on the mission field. Thank God for His timing and the fact that He knows me inside and out.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Coming home ...
So, pretty soon I'll be able to sleep in and not make any decisions about anything bigger than what I'm going to eat for lunch ... and even that may be decided for me. I have to admit that I'm kinda looking forward to being the youngest kid, well taken care of once again.
Things have been quite hectic with the transition from Child Haven to Adler Haven. There's lots to be done, and I'm being tested on all sides ... esp. in the area of relationships and loving as Christ does. I think there's a theme here that God wants me to get a grip on ... must be as a result of my asking Him to "show me how to love like He's loved me". We really have to be careful about what we pray ... or at least be mindful of the impact of it. :o)
I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to making the 21 hour flight/jaunt to the States. I knew I was going home to spend time with my father who was acting a bit strange the last time I was at home, but now I definitely see that it was the hand of the Lord. I need the rest. I need fresh perspective. I need time and space away to really see the true status of some things in my life - namely ministry, relationships, character development, and my walk with the Lord.
And, I get to eat! I'm really looking forward to turkey, dressing, pies, callaloo, curry, chana, roti, chocolate covered strawberries and CHEESECAKE!!
Things have been quite hectic with the transition from Child Haven to Adler Haven. There's lots to be done, and I'm being tested on all sides ... esp. in the area of relationships and loving as Christ does. I think there's a theme here that God wants me to get a grip on ... must be as a result of my asking Him to "show me how to love like He's loved me". We really have to be careful about what we pray ... or at least be mindful of the impact of it. :o)
I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to making the 21 hour flight/jaunt to the States. I knew I was going home to spend time with my father who was acting a bit strange the last time I was at home, but now I definitely see that it was the hand of the Lord. I need the rest. I need fresh perspective. I need time and space away to really see the true status of some things in my life - namely ministry, relationships, character development, and my walk with the Lord.
And, I get to eat! I'm really looking forward to turkey, dressing, pies, callaloo, curry, chana, roti, chocolate covered strawberries and CHEESECAKE!!
Monday, November 03, 2008
Life's Frustrations
I think it's pretty funny that I truly believe that my frustrations are unlike those of "normal" people. I've somehow managed to convince myself that I get frustrated about things that normal people don't, or that somehow, I'm the only one going through a certain thing.
I was so blessed to talk with two friends today - one from New Zealand and the other from Belgium - who helped me process a bit and shed some light on the things I've been going through mentally and emotionally. How important it is to have people you trust who are willing to walk you through the junk in your head and heart!
Bottom line is that there is nothing new under the sun. At it's core, I'm still struggling with trusting God and taking Him at His word. My flesh struggles with the things He's telling me to do, and rebellion still has it's little root in me. I'm struggling with the same core issues as everyone else.
Where we tend to differ is the specific things that God may be asking me to do, or the area of my life that He's asking me to trust Him in.
As I talked with my friend from Belgium today, I told her that one of my biggest frustrations is in the area of relationships. "Why don't they work the way that you expect them to?" I realize that YWAM Denver messed me up in this area and I have expectations that are unrealistic for life outside the YWAM bubble. But, seriously, they shouldn't be this difficult. God's been challenging me to love as He's loved me ... to not follow in my old pattern of writing people off when they don't respond the way that I think they should. I'll admit it - he told me to love someone specifically and I told Him I didn't want to. Yeah, I got spanked for it and I'm still not sure what loving like this looks like in this particular situation, or why He's even asking me to do this. I've asked for His perspective on it (as my friend suggested), but I really don't like the answer that I got. No matter, I have to do it simply because He's asked me to.
Another area I tackled with my Kiwi friend was the area of communication within relationship ... I realize that there's a cutltural barrier between myself and South Africans, but we decided that much of what was going on probably has more to do with spiritual warfare surrounding the birth of this new ministry (Adler Haven) than American English versus South African English. I think in this situation I just need to pray a bit, then speak up.
As I talked with both friends, I also realized that pursuing relationship is not something that's important to everyone. Or, maybe it's just that pursuing relationship with me is not important to everyone that I'm pursuing relationship with. Now, don't get me wrong ... I'm not arrogant enough to believe that everyone has to love me and want to be in relationship with me. I just had to process the realization that I'm just a blip on the radar for some people ... they acknowledge my presence, but don't really have an interest in getting to know me beyond that. Which is fine. It's a natural part of life. I just have to focus on building with the people who are as interested as I am.
You know, I have to admit that I do have some amazing friends. Unfortunately, most of the ones that will sit up and talk with me at 1 in the morning as I process the craziness that's going on in my head are on another continent. Still, I am truly blessed. They also have craziness going on in their own lives as they journey with God, but these precious people genuinely care about me and want to spur me on in my walk with Christ, encouraging me to trust in Him and trust the directions that He's giving.
And for that, I am truly grateful.
I was so blessed to talk with two friends today - one from New Zealand and the other from Belgium - who helped me process a bit and shed some light on the things I've been going through mentally and emotionally. How important it is to have people you trust who are willing to walk you through the junk in your head and heart!
Bottom line is that there is nothing new under the sun. At it's core, I'm still struggling with trusting God and taking Him at His word. My flesh struggles with the things He's telling me to do, and rebellion still has it's little root in me. I'm struggling with the same core issues as everyone else.
Where we tend to differ is the specific things that God may be asking me to do, or the area of my life that He's asking me to trust Him in.
As I talked with my friend from Belgium today, I told her that one of my biggest frustrations is in the area of relationships. "Why don't they work the way that you expect them to?" I realize that YWAM Denver messed me up in this area and I have expectations that are unrealistic for life outside the YWAM bubble. But, seriously, they shouldn't be this difficult. God's been challenging me to love as He's loved me ... to not follow in my old pattern of writing people off when they don't respond the way that I think they should. I'll admit it - he told me to love someone specifically and I told Him I didn't want to. Yeah, I got spanked for it and I'm still not sure what loving like this looks like in this particular situation, or why He's even asking me to do this. I've asked for His perspective on it (as my friend suggested), but I really don't like the answer that I got. No matter, I have to do it simply because He's asked me to.
Another area I tackled with my Kiwi friend was the area of communication within relationship ... I realize that there's a cutltural barrier between myself and South Africans, but we decided that much of what was going on probably has more to do with spiritual warfare surrounding the birth of this new ministry (Adler Haven) than American English versus South African English. I think in this situation I just need to pray a bit, then speak up.
As I talked with both friends, I also realized that pursuing relationship is not something that's important to everyone. Or, maybe it's just that pursuing relationship with me is not important to everyone that I'm pursuing relationship with. Now, don't get me wrong ... I'm not arrogant enough to believe that everyone has to love me and want to be in relationship with me. I just had to process the realization that I'm just a blip on the radar for some people ... they acknowledge my presence, but don't really have an interest in getting to know me beyond that. Which is fine. It's a natural part of life. I just have to focus on building with the people who are as interested as I am.
You know, I have to admit that I do have some amazing friends. Unfortunately, most of the ones that will sit up and talk with me at 1 in the morning as I process the craziness that's going on in my head are on another continent. Still, I am truly blessed. They also have craziness going on in their own lives as they journey with God, but these precious people genuinely care about me and want to spur me on in my walk with Christ, encouraging me to trust in Him and trust the directions that He's giving.
And for that, I am truly grateful.
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