Too strong ...

So, I've heard throughout my life that I'm considered to be a "strong person". I don't consider being strong a bad thing ... but it's come up lately in a context that I'm not sure that I know how to take.

I was considering the whole matchmaking thing that seems to be going on all around me lately. I've noticed that some of my friends are being matched with some seemingly great guys, while I continue to just hang out and wonder what on earth God is talking about in my quiet times in regards to this area because it continues to look like I'm on "hold" when it comes to relationships.

Now, don't get me wrong - I realize that God only just started to stir the whole pot for marriage and relationships in my life in recent years. I was never open to it before, never really considered it as something for me. But lately, comments like "well, you just don't seem to need a man in your life" or "you don't seem to have any vulnerabilities" or "you give off the vibe that you're not interested" have made me pause and think twice about where I'm at in this whole thing. In the past, I would say this was true ... but now that God's opened up this can of worms and is speaking to me in VERY present day terms about His desire for me here, I'm not sure what to do about the vibe I'm giving off.

I've tried to reason ... maybe it's because I'm still not that girl that falls in love with every guy that pays attention to her. I don't allow my emotions to run away and have me picking out bed linens and silverware when I'm asked out to coffee. Hanging out with a guy, watching a movie isn't an indication of his interest. I have too many good guy friends to read into this stuff.

Also, if a guy doesn't fit with what I hear God saying, he stays int he "friend zone". I remember looking at a guy I was interested in last year and weighing the possibilities, only to realize that we were headed in two very different directions and that he couldn't be the fulfillment of what I believed God spoke to me about marriage and family. End of story for me, no matter how attracted I was.

So, I'm thinking. And praying. And wondering if there are habits I've learned and vibes I'm giving off that are counter-productive to where God's heading with all of this. If so, I know that there are changes that need to take place. Just gotta figure out the "how".

And, I'm realizing that God is bigger than my "vibe".