A friend of mine asked me today what God was speaking to me about. I had to admit that I've been so preoccupied with daily things that I hadn't heard from Him directly in a while. I'd battled the stress and anxiety of a few weeks ago, and since things stabilized I haven't really spent time listening.
Not good, I know.
My thoughts have been consumed by random craziness lately, most of which I'm trying to not allow to linger too long. My upcoming move and HUGE step into yet another transition is one. Trying to understand people and the way they do relationships is another. Battling with the South African mindset in regards to some things (like race relations, relationships, food, child-rearing and business practices) is yet another.
Wondering why on earth God called me, of all people, to this continent is usually in there somewhere.
Questioning things I've always believed and standards I've held to has come up.
Trying to balance being a "mom" to orphans and a single woman hoping to get married someday was brought up in a conversation I had recently. I'm still at a loss with this one.
I've been asking if I will ever be able to find and do one thing that I'm truly passionate about ... something that I look at with such satisfaction in my heart that I'm anxious about waking up in the morning and doing it all over again.
And, I'm trying to focus on just how big the God I love and serve is, rather than the thoughts floating around my head.
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