One of my babies left to go and live with his “forever family” today. I’m sad, but happy for him. He was so cute in church today … I got to sit next to his adoptive mom and halfway through the service he climbed into my lap and started playing with my ponytail holder. We were both biting it, playing tug-of-war until I realized that it was really distracting to the other people. I’m gonna miss him!
Okay, on with the entry. Have I mentioned that I’m really thankful for my dad? I have a great dad! Most of my friends have great dads. Now, I live in a country that is full of broken homes and fatherlessness, and I can see the effect it has on this society in general.
One of the things he said that I had to chew on a bit had to do with the role of a father in the life of his daughter. Fathers are to:
1) enjoy their daughters
2) affirm femininity in their daughters, and
3) watch for what God is doing in their child, call it forth and bless it.
In addition to this, fathers are to teach their daughters about men and how men should treat them. This one made me laugh because it brought to mind the fact that my dad taught me about cars and drywall, while my brothers say that they beat me up and tormented me when I was younger so that I would learn to defend myself. They wanted to make sure I didn’t end up a battered wife. Pretty warped thinking, huh? No wonder I can be so aggressive at times.
Anywho, it was a bit interesting to look at the great job my Dad did in raising me in light of this list. Thinking about it eventually brought me around to the fact that my Dad is a great provider, and I never doubted his presence in my life, but there were some things missing that I’ve had to look to God my Father to fill in (like affirming my femininity, teaching me about relating to men, healthy emotional connection, giving and receiving love, etc.). It’s very easy for me to see God as a Provider and I rarely doubt His presence in my life. Do I think my Dad enjoyed me? In his own way, I guess he did. Did he affirm femininity in me? Not really … all I can remember is him telling me not to climb trees, asking “why can’t you sit like a girl?” and trying to get me to wear high heels when I was a teenager (too late, I might add, when I was already bent towards chunky boots and flip flops). Did he watch for what God was doing in me and encourage it? Not really. Not because he didn’t want to, but I honestly don’t think he had the spiritual eye to do so. For him, my getting an education and decent job so that I could make something of my life was his goal.
As I reflected on all of this, I saw that the biggest “lesson” I’ve learned from my Dad is to be able to take care of myself and not have to depend on people. I honestly can’t figure out if I’m as independent as I think I am. Part of me says that I should be able to live my life not needing anyone, but this other part of me craves relationship and connection with people. The kingdom of God is all about relationships, so the independence theory can’t be all right, can it?
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