So, Caroline is on a mission to have all of the children that can be adopted out of the house before I head back to the States for a visit in May. This means that a whole new group of babies could be passing through here in the next month. I'm not sure I'm really excited about that just yet.
I know that this is what we want ... for our small portion of the 1 million plus orphans in South Africa to be placed in loving familes and stable homes. It's just hard when you come to love them to see them go!
I head to Cape Town on Thursday to visit friends ... hopefully all the babies I leave on Thursday morning will still be here when I get back on Monday so that I have a chance to say goodbye!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Daddy's Little Girl
One of my babies left to go and live with his “forever family” today. I’m sad, but happy for him. He was so cute in church today … I got to sit next to his adoptive mom and halfway through the service he climbed into my lap and started playing with my ponytail holder. We were both biting it, playing tug-of-war until I realized that it was really distracting to the other people. I’m gonna miss him!
Okay, on with the entry. Have I mentioned that I’m really thankful for my dad? I have a great dad! Most of my friends have great dads. Now, I live in a country that is full of broken homes and fatherlessness, and I can see the effect it has on this society in general.
One of the things he said that I had to chew on a bit had to do with the role of a father in the life of his daughter. Fathers are to:
1) enjoy their daughters
2) affirm femininity in their daughters, and
3) watch for what God is doing in their child, call it forth and bless it.
In addition to this, fathers are to teach their daughters about men and how men should treat them. This one made me laugh because it brought to mind the fact that my dad taught me about cars and drywall, while my brothers say that they beat me up and tormented me when I was younger so that I would learn to defend myself. They wanted to make sure I didn’t end up a battered wife. Pretty warped thinking, huh? No wonder I can be so aggressive at times.
Anywho, it was a bit interesting to look at the great job my Dad did in raising me in light of this list. Thinking about it eventually brought me around to the fact that my Dad is a great provider, and I never doubted his presence in my life, but there were some things missing that I’ve had to look to God my Father to fill in (like affirming my femininity, teaching me about relating to men, healthy emotional connection, giving and receiving love, etc.). It’s very easy for me to see God as a Provider and I rarely doubt His presence in my life. Do I think my Dad enjoyed me? In his own way, I guess he did. Did he affirm femininity in me? Not really … all I can remember is him telling me not to climb trees, asking “why can’t you sit like a girl?” and trying to get me to wear high heels when I was a teenager (too late, I might add, when I was already bent towards chunky boots and flip flops). Did he watch for what God was doing in me and encourage it? Not really. Not because he didn’t want to, but I honestly don’t think he had the spiritual eye to do so. For him, my getting an education and decent job so that I could make something of my life was his goal.
As I reflected on all of this, I saw that the biggest “lesson” I’ve learned from my Dad is to be able to take care of myself and not have to depend on people. I honestly can’t figure out if I’m as independent as I think I am. Part of me says that I should be able to live my life not needing anyone, but this other part of me craves relationship and connection with people. The kingdom of God is all about relationships, so the independence theory can’t be all right, can it?
Okay, on with the entry. Have I mentioned that I’m really thankful for my dad? I have a great dad! Most of my friends have great dads. Now, I live in a country that is full of broken homes and fatherlessness, and I can see the effect it has on this society in general.
One of the things he said that I had to chew on a bit had to do with the role of a father in the life of his daughter. Fathers are to:
1) enjoy their daughters
2) affirm femininity in their daughters, and
3) watch for what God is doing in their child, call it forth and bless it.
In addition to this, fathers are to teach their daughters about men and how men should treat them. This one made me laugh because it brought to mind the fact that my dad taught me about cars and drywall, while my brothers say that they beat me up and tormented me when I was younger so that I would learn to defend myself. They wanted to make sure I didn’t end up a battered wife. Pretty warped thinking, huh? No wonder I can be so aggressive at times.
Anywho, it was a bit interesting to look at the great job my Dad did in raising me in light of this list. Thinking about it eventually brought me around to the fact that my Dad is a great provider, and I never doubted his presence in my life, but there were some things missing that I’ve had to look to God my Father to fill in (like affirming my femininity, teaching me about relating to men, healthy emotional connection, giving and receiving love, etc.). It’s very easy for me to see God as a Provider and I rarely doubt His presence in my life. Do I think my Dad enjoyed me? In his own way, I guess he did. Did he affirm femininity in me? Not really … all I can remember is him telling me not to climb trees, asking “why can’t you sit like a girl?” and trying to get me to wear high heels when I was a teenager (too late, I might add, when I was already bent towards chunky boots and flip flops). Did he watch for what God was doing in me and encourage it? Not really. Not because he didn’t want to, but I honestly don’t think he had the spiritual eye to do so. For him, my getting an education and decent job so that I could make something of my life was his goal.
As I reflected on all of this, I saw that the biggest “lesson” I’ve learned from my Dad is to be able to take care of myself and not have to depend on people. I honestly can’t figure out if I’m as independent as I think I am. Part of me says that I should be able to live my life not needing anyone, but this other part of me craves relationship and connection with people. The kingdom of God is all about relationships, so the independence theory can’t be all right, can it?
Friday, March 07, 2008
Trust
I thought I would continue with the marriage and family thread. Last Sunday in church, the pastor that was visiting talked about Fathers and Daughters … basically, healing the father/daughter wound. There were so many things that he said that made me reflect on.
For his research, the pastor acknowledged that he had no clue about what daughters need from fathers, but since he was married to a daughter, he chose to study her. His stories about coming to the realization that not only was he married to an earthly daughter (his father-in-law’s), but that he was married to a daughter of the King made me laugh, mostly because God’s been talking to me for the last few months about living in that role.
One thing that he mentioned that made me really stop and take notice was a few words that his wife said to him … she said, “I don’t always trust you, but I trust your relationship with God.” I have to be able to say that about the man I marry. I have enough trust issues as it is, so if I can look at him and say that I trust his relationship with God (my Father), then I know that I can respect and trust him no matter where we go or what we do.
So, thanks to him, the picture of the man that I’m holding out for becomes a little clearer.
Will write more on what I learned later.
For his research, the pastor acknowledged that he had no clue about what daughters need from fathers, but since he was married to a daughter, he chose to study her. His stories about coming to the realization that not only was he married to an earthly daughter (his father-in-law’s), but that he was married to a daughter of the King made me laugh, mostly because God’s been talking to me for the last few months about living in that role.
One thing that he mentioned that made me really stop and take notice was a few words that his wife said to him … she said, “I don’t always trust you, but I trust your relationship with God.” I have to be able to say that about the man I marry. I have enough trust issues as it is, so if I can look at him and say that I trust his relationship with God (my Father), then I know that I can respect and trust him no matter where we go or what we do.
So, thanks to him, the picture of the man that I’m holding out for becomes a little clearer.
Will write more on what I learned later.
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