One more try ...

So, I sat down last night and wrote out fantastic a blog, pushed the “publish” button and got that annoying “A problem has occurred and Internet Explorer needs to shut down” message. The blog didn’t post, and I yelled at Internet Explorer, Bill Gates and Microsoft in general.

It had to do with finding love in the midst of sleepless nights, changing my mind about having children of my own, and turning 32. I was pondering what on earth to do with the rest of my life. I was thankful for the experiences I’ve had in 32 years of life. I was thinking about being single, getting married (as some of my best friends are about to do), flying home in May and just wondering about my life.

Birthdays make me wonder if there’s anything about my life that I would change going forward. I can think of lots I would change about the past, but I’ve come to realize that regrets aren’t worth hanging on to. What will I do differently in year 33?

There seems to always be the push to exercise more and take care of my body … funny thought, as I contemplate eating one of my Lindt Cresta bars this weekend that my awesome friend MP from Belgium brought me on her last trip home. God’s also spoken to me about this being the year of relationship and His desire that I would focus on that in 2008. He smacked me around in January about my appearance … basically, stated that He desired me to make an effort in regards to my appearance and that I should be dressing and grooming myself in a manner befitting the “daughter of the King” that I am. Ouch.

Then there’s the spiritual stuff – read the Word more, pray more, study more.

The one thing that stands out to me above all the rest as I think about crossing 32 is that I should love myself this year. Not in a tree hugger sort of way, but in a "love your neighbor as youself" way. I've come to the realization that no one else is going to do it for me. What does that look like? I’m still not sure, since I’ve thought I loved myself in the past. Apparently not the way God intends. So, it looks like we’re about to do a bit of exploring!