Frustrating studies

I'm reading this book put together by two professors at Wits University on the progression of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in South Africa. Let's just say that the more I read, the more ticked I become.

In the first chapters they attempt to touch on the cultural norms and beliefs that are contributing to the continued progression of the virus in the nation. In the section "Being A Man in South Africa", a few excerpts that pushed my buttons in particular inlclude:

● The global AIDS epidemic is driven my men. (24)

● It's normal and culturally acceptable/expected for men to have multiple partners (as a means to prove their manhood or out of insatiable need to "drain something from their body" through the sex act with whoever's available, but they may "rect violently towards women who are nor monogomous. A study conducted across several regions in South Africa fount that 'boys believe that a way to sort a girl with several other sexual partners is to force sex or "beat her" ... a girl who refuses [sex] and is believed to have another boyfriend will be beaten because 'you cannot let her get away with it, she is using you and making you a fool." Another way of sorting her out is to organize a "steam-line", commonly know as gang rape at the boyfriends home as a means of punishment. (27)

● A contemporary study of youth in the Western Cape found that men believed that they could not survive physically or psychologically for an extended period without sex – a man needed a back-up if his regular partner was not available. One young boy said, “Hey man, where is this thing called AIDS, we should try to avoid this thing.” But others said, “No man, if AIDS means to stop you from having many partners then I will just contract it – you see.’ (28)

● A young boy is quoted as saying this - "'When they are going to make sex?', he asked, he said, 'Can we make sex?' ... but she said, 'no' ... the way I think, maybe he asked her again, maybe she replied and they just made sex ... she didn't scream or do anything ... or tell him she doesn't want it ... to her, no is yes." (30)

● Young men and women believe that a man has a right, even a duty, to force himself on a woman who displays reluctance and shyness. (32)

● Respondents in a study of teenage masculinity did not see that forcing a girl to have sex was rape. Rape is an attack by a stranger. Drama and role-plays indicated that the boys did not recognise that saying 'no' was an option for girls - they believed that girls should not have any say in the matter. They used biology (the male sexual urge) to justify men having sex on demand. (32)

And you wonder why I'm not interested in the men here and am content to be single for the duration unless another foreigner passes through that captures my attention?

I haven't made it to the "Being A Woman in South Africa" section yet because I have to frequently put the book down. I'm not sure that reading this type of material for a basic understanding of the average South African mindset in regards to HIV/AIDS is a good thing ... it really is bringing me to a place of knowing that I will NEVER be able to identify with where people here are coming from. To be honest, I don't want to. It makes me mad that they've been handed a bag of lies that is killing them off one by one, but they choose to hold onto it and pass it down to future generations in the name of preserving their "culture". I'm once again reminded that but for the grace of God ... there really is no point in my being here.