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I finally made the decision yesterday that I am really going to live in South Africa.

It dawned on me that I still “lived” in America, even though I’ve spent the past 8 months in South Africa. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said, “When I get back to the States I’ll get this or that”.

Yesterday, I was at a mall on the other side of town and one of my friends was looking for a 2008 daily planner. I said that I was going to wait and get my calendar from back home because there’s one I like that goes on sale just after the first of the year. My friend asked me how I was going to get it, since I wasn’t going home until May. If I waited until then, the year would be half over.

I’ve done this with so many things … clothing items (like socks and tees), hair products, and even (in spite of the frequent monsoon like rainstorms we get here) buying an umbrella.

Part of my reasoning is that things are cheaper in the U.S. Sometimes when I’m in a store and I look at the prices of things, I just start laughing out loud, not caring about the strange glances I get from the other people shopping. There is a 100% markup on certain imports in South Africa … it oftentimes makes me wonder how people here live and buy things.

The other reason is that there are just some things whose quality I can’t find here (like the Aveda deep conditioner I use when I swim to keep my hair from breaking). I sometimes feel like the snobby American when I talk about some of these things, but deep down, I’m not trying to be mean. I just know it’s true.

Living this way really lets me know that I’m living with one foot in America, and one here in South Africa. No wonder I’m unsettled.

With the upcoming changes to my life, I really feel the need to commit to being here rather than looking to my next flight out. I feel drawn to make this city my own … a desire in me to make it “home”, just as I did in Denver.

So, I broke down and bought a Study Bible yesterday. It cost more than I have ever paid for any Bible in my life, but the time had come when not being able to dig in and make notes on what I was reading was no longer satisfactory. Now it looks like I’ll have to start looking for that 2008 planner as well.