One of the pastors at church was carjacked this week. My guess is that he drives a mid-size sedan of some sort. He talked about being especially glad to be in the service this morning, because having a gun pointed at your temple during the week gives greater meaning to being in the house of God on Sunday to give thanks.
I’m constantly amazed at the lack of respect for human life and personal property that I see and read about here. It’s a common fact of life here that you could be held at knife or gunpoint for your cell phone or watch. It’s not unheard of that someone is shot or stabbed for their cell phone or the 20 Rand note (about $3) that may be in their pocket.
What has brought the people in this country to this point? And, why doesn’t the government feel the need to do something about the lawlessness that abounds here? Why don’t the people who are tired of living in fear and intimidation rise up to say “enough is enough”? Maybe they’re too tired from fighting Apartheid and racism or too comfortable in their little corner of the “New South Africa”.
I have a sneaky suspicion that many in the general population feel that there’s nothing they can do ... especially the women. The culture here dictates that men are the leaders, to be followed no matter where they lead … even if they lead to destruction. Women aren’t even at the place of beginning to claim their “rights” as individuals, even though they are largely the backbone of this society that keep families together and provided for. They’re just trying to make it one day at a time in spite of the odds they face.
There are so many things about this continent that make no sense to me.
Even in the midst of the craziness, God continues to break my heart for this nation and its people. There are so many people that are innocent bystanders … especially the children who are growing up seeing a warped life modeled to them. I’m glad that I get to be a small part of God’s light into their darkness.
God has said that He is my protector, and I trust Him. I pray that I am not faced with this level of craziness, because I’m not sure what my response will be.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Friday, October 26, 2007
The brigher side ...
Last night we went into Melville, which is the trendy, “artsy-fartsy” part of Joburg. It felt like I was back in Denver again! We ate at this restaurant called Soulsa, which is a fusion place with lots of organic products and good meats on the menu (like ostrich and springbok).
It was good to be on another side of town, sitting with another kind of people. We were able to walk down the street late at night and not be bothered. I felt completely safe, even with the drunk people walking around after too many cocktails.
I’m glad to see there’s a life outside of the inner city.
It was good to be on another side of town, sitting with another kind of people. We were able to walk down the street late at night and not be bothered. I felt completely safe, even with the drunk people walking around after too many cocktails.
I’m glad to see there’s a life outside of the inner city.
Monday, October 22, 2007
I cried for South Africa today ...
I cried for South Africa today.
I haven’t done that before … not even for the orphans of South America.
I was sitting in church, listening to one of the pastors recap his time in France with the National Rugby team that won the Rugby World Cup last night. He serves as the unofficial chaplain of the team, and was telling of the great things God has done in the lives of these men, drawing them closer to Him and transforming their personal lives.
The win has great meaning for this country, as the team will undergo a lot of changes in the coming years in response to demands by political leaders to make the team more of a representation of the nation, which is over 85% black African. As the managers and coaches fall under the pressure of affirmative action, there is little hope that in the short-run, South Africa will make it to the finals again in the next World Cup.
But, that’s not what he talked about that brought me to tears. He talked about the fact that this win had greater meaning in the kingdom, and that we as believers should be praying hard for this nation. To the women, he said, “The men of this nation need God. They also need your prayers. The most unsafe place for a woman in this nation is in her own home. Women suffer violence and abuse against them in the place that should the safest place, most often at the hands of men that they know and trust. Men are much more likely to start wars, commit crimes, abuse, and kill than women. God has a plan for the men in this nation, and we need to pray that they would rise up and plunge themselves beneath the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” He went on to talk about the Springboks as national icons, and that God had moved among them for this moment in time, that they might give glory to Him and issue the challenge to the men of this nation to rise up and follow.
For months, I’ve been struggling with the idea that the men in this nation will be the ones to destroy it, but for God. Many of the women I’ve met and talked with feel they have no right to challenge the men in their lives, and live under the dominion of men who do not have their best interest at heart. I think in that instance, I felt the heart of God, aching for His sons who would not turn to Him, but instead seek their own will and desires.
So, I cried. I prayed that God would continue to call His sons back to Him, and that they would hear and lay down their pride, culture, sin, hatred, and own agendas in order to fall under His Lordship. I prayed that they would love their wives and children, rather than their own flesh. I prayed that I would have compassion when one of these men did something to irritate me, and instead would turn the situation around to encourage them in their need to seek Him.
It’s cool to know that God is still in the business of everyday miracles.
I haven’t done that before … not even for the orphans of South America.
I was sitting in church, listening to one of the pastors recap his time in France with the National Rugby team that won the Rugby World Cup last night. He serves as the unofficial chaplain of the team, and was telling of the great things God has done in the lives of these men, drawing them closer to Him and transforming their personal lives.
The win has great meaning for this country, as the team will undergo a lot of changes in the coming years in response to demands by political leaders to make the team more of a representation of the nation, which is over 85% black African. As the managers and coaches fall under the pressure of affirmative action, there is little hope that in the short-run, South Africa will make it to the finals again in the next World Cup.
But, that’s not what he talked about that brought me to tears. He talked about the fact that this win had greater meaning in the kingdom, and that we as believers should be praying hard for this nation. To the women, he said, “The men of this nation need God. They also need your prayers. The most unsafe place for a woman in this nation is in her own home. Women suffer violence and abuse against them in the place that should the safest place, most often at the hands of men that they know and trust. Men are much more likely to start wars, commit crimes, abuse, and kill than women. God has a plan for the men in this nation, and we need to pray that they would rise up and plunge themselves beneath the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” He went on to talk about the Springboks as national icons, and that God had moved among them for this moment in time, that they might give glory to Him and issue the challenge to the men of this nation to rise up and follow.
For months, I’ve been struggling with the idea that the men in this nation will be the ones to destroy it, but for God. Many of the women I’ve met and talked with feel they have no right to challenge the men in their lives, and live under the dominion of men who do not have their best interest at heart. I think in that instance, I felt the heart of God, aching for His sons who would not turn to Him, but instead seek their own will and desires.
So, I cried. I prayed that God would continue to call His sons back to Him, and that they would hear and lay down their pride, culture, sin, hatred, and own agendas in order to fall under His Lordship. I prayed that they would love their wives and children, rather than their own flesh. I prayed that I would have compassion when one of these men did something to irritate me, and instead would turn the situation around to encourage them in their need to seek Him.
It’s cool to know that God is still in the business of everyday miracles.
Friday, October 19, 2007
Home
I finally made the decision yesterday that I am really going to live in South Africa.
It dawned on me that I still “lived” in America, even though I’ve spent the past 8 months in South Africa. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said, “When I get back to the States I’ll get this or that”.
Yesterday, I was at a mall on the other side of town and one of my friends was looking for a 2008 daily planner. I said that I was going to wait and get my calendar from back home because there’s one I like that goes on sale just after the first of the year. My friend asked me how I was going to get it, since I wasn’t going home until May. If I waited until then, the year would be half over.
I’ve done this with so many things … clothing items (like socks and tees), hair products, and even (in spite of the frequent monsoon like rainstorms we get here) buying an umbrella.
Part of my reasoning is that things are cheaper in the U.S. Sometimes when I’m in a store and I look at the prices of things, I just start laughing out loud, not caring about the strange glances I get from the other people shopping. There is a 100% markup on certain imports in South Africa … it oftentimes makes me wonder how people here live and buy things.
The other reason is that there are just some things whose quality I can’t find here (like the Aveda deep conditioner I use when I swim to keep my hair from breaking). I sometimes feel like the snobby American when I talk about some of these things, but deep down, I’m not trying to be mean. I just know it’s true.
Living this way really lets me know that I’m living with one foot in America, and one here in South Africa. No wonder I’m unsettled.
With the upcoming changes to my life, I really feel the need to commit to being here rather than looking to my next flight out. I feel drawn to make this city my own … a desire in me to make it “home”, just as I did in Denver.
So, I broke down and bought a Study Bible yesterday. It cost more than I have ever paid for any Bible in my life, but the time had come when not being able to dig in and make notes on what I was reading was no longer satisfactory. Now it looks like I’ll have to start looking for that 2008 planner as well.
It dawned on me that I still “lived” in America, even though I’ve spent the past 8 months in South Africa. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve said, “When I get back to the States I’ll get this or that”.
Yesterday, I was at a mall on the other side of town and one of my friends was looking for a 2008 daily planner. I said that I was going to wait and get my calendar from back home because there’s one I like that goes on sale just after the first of the year. My friend asked me how I was going to get it, since I wasn’t going home until May. If I waited until then, the year would be half over.
I’ve done this with so many things … clothing items (like socks and tees), hair products, and even (in spite of the frequent monsoon like rainstorms we get here) buying an umbrella.
Part of my reasoning is that things are cheaper in the U.S. Sometimes when I’m in a store and I look at the prices of things, I just start laughing out loud, not caring about the strange glances I get from the other people shopping. There is a 100% markup on certain imports in South Africa … it oftentimes makes me wonder how people here live and buy things.
The other reason is that there are just some things whose quality I can’t find here (like the Aveda deep conditioner I use when I swim to keep my hair from breaking). I sometimes feel like the snobby American when I talk about some of these things, but deep down, I’m not trying to be mean. I just know it’s true.
Living this way really lets me know that I’m living with one foot in America, and one here in South Africa. No wonder I’m unsettled.
With the upcoming changes to my life, I really feel the need to commit to being here rather than looking to my next flight out. I feel drawn to make this city my own … a desire in me to make it “home”, just as I did in Denver.
So, I broke down and bought a Study Bible yesterday. It cost more than I have ever paid for any Bible in my life, but the time had come when not being able to dig in and make notes on what I was reading was no longer satisfactory. Now it looks like I’ll have to start looking for that 2008 planner as well.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Cars
I was talking to a friend of mine (South African) about buying a car for next year. I’m really not excited about the prospect of buying a car in this country. Besides the fact that I don’t know what I’m going to get for my money (quality-wise), cars here are stinkin’ expensive. On average, a car that would cost $15,000 in the States costs around $30,000 here. I’m looking at used cars because I can’t see myself spending the equivalent of $20,000 on a new bottom-of-the-line Honda, no matter how nice it is.
Our conversation covered such things as base prices, title and license, insurance options and maintenance/upkeep. The more I think about it, the less I want to make a decision this large with this kind of financial impact. I’m not good at deciding … not even about what light bulbs should go in particular rooms in our building. I’d much rather use the money to make the building the kids work and play in safer. I guess that I find it as hard to spend the money on myself as others do, even though the need hangs over my head every day and has been something I’ve regretted not planning for since arriving here.
Financially, can I handle it? Kind of. I have some money that can go towards this, but I will probably need more to buy something reliable that requires little maintenance. So, I’ll have to put the need out there and see if God moves on people’s hearts to give … and I’m really not looking forward to that.
At the same time, I know that something has to give because this has been the largest barrier to my building relationships in this country. It’s also limited me in some ministry opportunities I’ve wanted to take advantage of. So, I’m looking at having to suck it up, even if it means making a huge mistake and having to eat a huge loss. My biggest desire in the midst of this is to be a wise steward of the money God places in my hands.
Our conversation covered such things as base prices, title and license, insurance options and maintenance/upkeep. The more I think about it, the less I want to make a decision this large with this kind of financial impact. I’m not good at deciding … not even about what light bulbs should go in particular rooms in our building. I’d much rather use the money to make the building the kids work and play in safer. I guess that I find it as hard to spend the money on myself as others do, even though the need hangs over my head every day and has been something I’ve regretted not planning for since arriving here.
Financially, can I handle it? Kind of. I have some money that can go towards this, but I will probably need more to buy something reliable that requires little maintenance. So, I’ll have to put the need out there and see if God moves on people’s hearts to give … and I’m really not looking forward to that.
At the same time, I know that something has to give because this has been the largest barrier to my building relationships in this country. It’s also limited me in some ministry opportunities I’ve wanted to take advantage of. So, I’m looking at having to suck it up, even if it means making a huge mistake and having to eat a huge loss. My biggest desire in the midst of this is to be a wise steward of the money God places in my hands.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Doubting
So, I was thinking the other day about what I’m about to step into ministry-wise come 2008 and a small part of me started to think, “What on earth are you doing?”
Besides the known logistical craziness (all matters I would love for you guys who pray to take to the Lord on my behalf, by the way) – having to figure out what needs to be done with Home Affairs in regards to switching my visa from being here under YWAM to being in South Africa under Every Nation & His People; figuring out where my support will be funneled through in the States so people can still receive a tax receipt; making the physical move to the house where I’ll be caring for the children; learning all that I need to know to give them effective care and ministry; working out the logistics of transport … increasing essential as I’m taking on a broader ministry that’s not concentrated within a 5 minute walking radius – I was struck by the thought that I’m not exactly the maternal type. Children are drawn to me, but it’s mostly so that we can get riled up together and be told that we need to keep our noise down.
When I think about working with children on this level – being a primary caregiver – it kinda freaks me out. I find myself wondering if my maternal side will kick in. I’m about to be “mom” to some of Africa’s forgotten children … taking them to school, making sure they do homework, cooking meals, taking them to the doctor, loving on them and disciplining them as needed. Boy do I need His grace in the face of this. I don’t consider myself the nurturing type, so part of me thinks this will be one of God’s greatest miracles in my life.
Once again I can’t deny Him, though. He’s stirred my heart for these children and given me a desire to be His hands and feet here, sharing His love with them … letting them know that He cares for them. If I really think about it, this is an excellent opportunity for God to step in where I end, and for me to operate in His strength rather than my own.
I’m constantly amazed at the places He takes me to, and the things He asks of me … but I’m looking forward to His meeting me there.
Monday, October 08, 2007
New Friends
I spent time with a new friend from church this weekend who’s studying law at
Getting to know Karen (inasmuch as you can do that in a few hours) was such a cool experience. Hearing her dreams and the ambitions God’s placed in her heart both challenged and encouraged me.
What complicates matters is that I’ve been really thinking and asking God about what training would be beneficial to me in pursuing the things He has for me in the future here in
I’m kind of regretting not doing the HIV/AIDS School in Muizenburg right about now. It looks like I’ll have to look into some other avenues!
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Imagine
Am I the only one who wonders why my mind is often blank? Sometimes when I try to think through what’s going on in my crazy life – manage what’s being tossed around in my head – it slowly dawns on me that there’s nothing too pressing going on. I guess this is a good thing.
As a result of last week’s teaching at church, God’s been challenging me with Ephesians 3:20,21 lately. Why am I amazed that He is able to do more than I ask or imagine? When I look at where I am today, versus where I thought I’d be, there is no doubt in my mind that He can do more than I can imagine. On top of that, I’ve seen His great faithfulness to me in the past … not only does He address the things I ask of Him, but He goes above and beyond that with the gifts that He gives.
Maybe that’s why there’s no intense worry about where I’m headed or wondering about the details of what’s to come. I’m more freaked about the things He’s challenging me on – on a personal and spiritual level. I think this has more to do with what He’s asking me to relinquish and the dreams He’s asking me to pursue. They’re so much bigger than anything I would’ve imagined for myself, and I tend to look at them with a bit of wonder … that He would choose me to accomplish these things … what is He thinking?
The wild part is that I’m sure that I still don’t have the big picture. All I see are the fragments still … the pieces of the puzzle that will fit together somehow. What’s crazy is that I’m not the only one holding puzzle pieces. There are people I haven’t met yet that are holding pieces with my picture on it as well.
How great is our God?
As a result of last week’s teaching at church, God’s been challenging me with Ephesians 3:20,21 lately. Why am I amazed that He is able to do more than I ask or imagine? When I look at where I am today, versus where I thought I’d be, there is no doubt in my mind that He can do more than I can imagine. On top of that, I’ve seen His great faithfulness to me in the past … not only does He address the things I ask of Him, but He goes above and beyond that with the gifts that He gives.
Maybe that’s why there’s no intense worry about where I’m headed or wondering about the details of what’s to come. I’m more freaked about the things He’s challenging me on – on a personal and spiritual level. I think this has more to do with what He’s asking me to relinquish and the dreams He’s asking me to pursue. They’re so much bigger than anything I would’ve imagined for myself, and I tend to look at them with a bit of wonder … that He would choose me to accomplish these things … what is He thinking?
The wild part is that I’m sure that I still don’t have the big picture. All I see are the fragments still … the pieces of the puzzle that will fit together somehow. What’s crazy is that I’m not the only one holding puzzle pieces. There are people I haven’t met yet that are holding pieces with my picture on it as well.
How great is our God?
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Mixed Emotions ...
Is it because I'm a girl that I just can't seem to make up my mind? In regards to this move to Masiphane next year, I'm excited but sad. I'm moving again ... as if I haven't done that enough in the last year. And this move is a big move ... I'm moving even further away from the things I know - YWAM, YWAMers, Troyeville, Admin. I think that the fact that change is scary is starting to dawn on me and I'm just trying not to think about it.
The change has the possibility of being a life-changing one. I am possibly moving into a season where I figure out that I have giftings and passions that God has placed in me that I haven't been living out. All I know is that this ministry and cause are calling to me like only one other thing in the world has in the past - street kids in South America. Part of me still can't believe that God has called me to Africa and is now asking me to live even more beyond myself. Another part of me wonders if He knows something about me that I haven't figured out yet.
I have no idea what next year will hold ... I only have this idea that this move is bigger than anything I can think or imagine. I guess we'll see.
The change has the possibility of being a life-changing one. I am possibly moving into a season where I figure out that I have giftings and passions that God has placed in me that I haven't been living out. All I know is that this ministry and cause are calling to me like only one other thing in the world has in the past - street kids in South America. Part of me still can't believe that God has called me to Africa and is now asking me to live even more beyond myself. Another part of me wonders if He knows something about me that I haven't figured out yet.
I have no idea what next year will hold ... I only have this idea that this move is bigger than anything I can think or imagine. I guess we'll see.
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