Snoop Dog and Monkeys

So, we went out on the town yesterday with Nil's sister Cassia. While we were at her house, she thought I'd enjoy watching MTV ... in English. I said whatever, so on the tv went. While I was taking in the music news, Cassia heard the beginning of a Snoop Dog song from the bedroom ... she came out just to join in. Now, if you didn't know that she's one of those people that goes to church 4 times a week, you wouldn't think this is funny. For me, it was hilarious because it was a grand departure from the Christian music we listen to in her car. Apparently, Snoop Dog still has a bit of a hold on her. Oh the things we export to other countries. ...

After driving around Guarulhos and Sáo Paulo for 3 hours we ended up at a Churrascuria. The food was so good! I was saddened to know that I can't eat as much as I used to. South Africa has ruined me ... at least until I return to the U.S. and am faced with Chipotle, Chilis, PF Chang's, Outback and the Olive Garden. After stuffing my face with just about every part of the cow available and a few legs of lamb, I was starting to get seriously full.

Just in case you don't know how these Churrascurias work - you have a card that has a red side and a green side. As long as the card is on red, you're safe. You can enjoy as much sides and salad from the bar as you want (but in the face of Brazilian and Argentinian beef, why would you?). Once you flip that card over to the green side, though, the barrage starts. Servers with all kinds of meat on skewers (like filet mignon, lamb, chicken, sirloin with garlic, etc.) will pass by your table and offer their services until you flip that card over again. I was so consumed with the goodies (and the beautiful men bringing it round) that I forgot to take pictures.

When I came to, I handed Nil my camera to take a photo of me and one of the servers. When she handed the camera back to me and told me to look at it to make sure it was okay, I lost it. The last photo displayed was of a monkey I saw at the park. Needless to say, our server was as confused as I was about which one of us the monkey was supposed to be.

Fun times at a very nice (and expensive) steakhouse. This has pretty much characterized my trip so far ... fun times with Nil's crazy family, taking in lots of yummy local food and admiring the beauty of the masculine side of God's creation. I'm fortunate that the men here like morenas, and are a bit more charismatic about their approach. It's nice to be admired, not ogled ... and to admire the admirer for a change. :o)

"Big Big"

So, I went into São Paulo Cuidade today with Nilceia and decided to buy a bit of cold weather gear ... it appears that with my landing in Brazil a cold front from South Africa decided to follow. I remembered that women in Brazil were supposed to be smaller than in America, but I had one of those lapses in memory when I thought about buying this shirt.

The guy that helped me out in this particular store was practicing his English with me as I shopped ... when I asked him if an item came in American sizes, he pulled one out and said "this one - big big". I started laughing so hard that it drew stares. Apparently I'm size "big big" in Brazil. Guess I won´t be buying those pants here after all ... wouldn´t want to embarrass myself in the Gap by asking for size "big big" instead of an 8.

:o)

Brasilia

Greetings from Sao Paolo!

After a pretty uneventful 10 hour flight, I arrived safely in Brazil and was able to breeze through customs. It made me wonder why customs was so difficult in my home country. No one even asked if I had anything to declare or what I was coming in for. It was another fun experience, this time with friendly Brazilian faces welcoming me into the country.

First thing Nil´s family wanted to do was feed me ... it felt like I´d come home. After repeatedly telling them that I wasn´t hungry after South African Airlines food, they went out to Habib´s and brought food back for me to taste. I thought it was fun that my first meal in Brazil was from a fast food place called "Habib´s".

Nilceia´s family is great ... I feel so bad for them (and myself) because they want so bad to communicate with me, but my Spanish is rusty and when I´m tired Portuguese is really difficult to understand. Nil´s niece Estér doesn´t quite understand that I only understand a little Portuguese. When I answer her questions in Spanish it fuels the fire. She's a cutie who asked how to say "can I give you a hug?" in English so she could do it.

I´m at the beginning of three weeks in this beautiful country, and am glad for the opportunity to step out of the frustrations of South Africa for a while. Ahhh, holidays!

Voices

Do you find it easy to blot out the voice of God in your head? Sometimes I wish I could not hear Him when He tells me some things. Other times, I wish He would speak and make "all things clear". He's not saying much at the moment, which is slightly frustrating ... it just means I must carry on with the last thing He spoke to me, which is "trust Me". I'm trying, but I can barely feel the air in front of my face at the moment.

I'm trying to figure out why it is I can never be wholly content with where I am in life. When I was in Denver, I wished that I could have both my family and my life there ... when I was in Houston, I longed for the relationships I had in Denver. Now that I'm in Joburg, I spend about half of my time wishing I were somewhere else (still longing for the relationships, though). I long to feel the illusions of safety and freedom ... and be able to walk down the street or go out at night without feeling as though I'm putting my life in some danger. I miss laughing. I miss being at peace.

I know that my peace should have nothing to do with my surroundings, but unfortunately that's the way God made me. My environment has a great affect on me, and at the moment the affect isn't a great one. I'm not depressed or anything, just frustrated. I'm praying that God does something soon.

Arguing with God ...

I'm pretty sure that there are some out there that will balk at the fact that I had an all out vent session with God this weekend. Every once in a while I reach that point where I can't take it anymore and I know that He's the only one that will understand my rantings.

This Sunday happened to be about how He created me. Now, before you send in emails regarding how I'm "fearfully and wonderfully made", I know that. The central point of my frustration was in the fact that He created me with certain desires and tendencies, then called me to a lifestyle that isn't exactly a perfect match for those desires and tendencies.

To better explain this, I'll take an excerpt from my journal:

"I'm periodically amazed that God's called me to missions. I sometimes think - 'He created me, you'd think He would have known better.' I mean, think about it - I don't like change ... transitions and the unknown frustrate me ... I need deep relationships with people to function best ... I'm used to being well taken care of, yet independent ... I need to feel like I've put down roots and have a place to call my own ... I have issues with men in general, aggressive perverts specifically ... I've struggled with depression and am prone to moodiness when I feel like my world is out of balance.

I sound like the perfect candidate for the mission field, right? Not. I'm not sure what He was thinking, but His mind hasn't changed any, and that's what I screamed out about to Him today. For some reason I thought maybe if I screamed, He would answer."

Frustrations from the missionary front. I continue to trust that He knows me, and that even in my frustrations, He meets me where I am. Whoever said this missionary stuff was easy?

:o)

Yay for Rediscovering Passwords!!!

So, I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but it's been a while since I blogged. I lost my password!! But, I apparently was smarter than I remembered, because I had it tucked into a spreadsheet somewhere. So, now I'm back!

It is really good to have somewhere to put my thoughts again. I ran out of pages in my journal and trying to find something comparable here in South Africa is pretty pointless. I'm told that there's a 100% tariff on imports, so I'd be paying twice the price for it anyway. Crazy, huh?

So, life in South Africa ... how's it going? I'll be honest and tell you that there are good days and bad days. I'm over most of my culture shock and have pretty much been able to settle into life here. I enjoy the work I'm doing most days, and often wonder what on earth God has me here for. There's a lot of work to be done ... we're in a bit of a transition/growth phase right now. I can see why the experiences & training that I've had would be useful in 2-3 years, but I'm not sure why now. Maybe God wants to add pioneering to my resume.

I'll update the prayer requests on my webpage as well, so make sure you stop by there if you're the praying kind. I appreciate all the prayer I can get!

Love ya and thanks for stopping by.

R